Take your relationships deeper and make them stronger as you go through this simple guide.

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Watch the sample video.

Registration for the Guide is currently closed. Sign up for the wait list to be notified when it opens again in 2017.

I want to offer you the opportunity to create your own safe space to vulnerably share and connect with others. That’s why I created a free video discussion guide based on imagery from the movie and personal stories. You can use it with or without the book.  The features of this special video discussion guide are:

  • 6 Lessons for you to use by yourself or with 1-3 other people. View and discuss them together either once a week for 6 weeks or in any time-frame you choose.
  • 2 videos in each lesson. These short videos use illustrations from the movie, the book and other stories to set up questions you can use for discussion. It’s simple. Play a video, then have a conversation.
  • PDF Downloads with the questions and room for you to journal your responses, if you so choose.
  • Access to a private Facebook group where we can interact and support one another on the journey. I will be available at least once a week to answer questions and offer ideas for you as you do the heart-mining work with your child, friend or spouse.

The UNFROZEN Video Discussion Guide is FREE but please encourage each adult to register individually. Follow the simple instructions below the form on the registration page, and we'll see you inside!

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What does it mean to be frozen?

When H2O is in it’s liquid form, it can flow freely, in and out of the spaces open to its movement. But when it freezes, it’s stuck. It might clunk around from place to place, but it doesn’t move freely and it keeps it’s goodness to itself.

The life-blood of our hearts is like that. When our hearts are hard, it’s difficult or even impossible to give or receive love.

When I think of that frozen kind of feeling, I think of a coldness of heart. I think of a heart that is so scared of being further wounded that it hunkers down or runs away from the threat of pressure or shame. The frozen heart feels paralyzed, isolated or trapped.

And when I feel trapped, I feel like there’s no way out.

But there is away out.

Wherever you are right now, you are not stuck. You may have given up on the idea of being open to giving and receiving love. You may feel you have no choice but to hunker down or run away. But you do have a choice. The beauty of the image of a frozen heart is that all it needs is warmth to get back to the free-flow of love. And that warmth can come with a gradual change in temperature or it can come in instant waves of heat.

One of the first things that has helped me in the thawing of my own heart is to come out of isolation and bring my heart into the light. But that was the last thing I wanted to do. I didn’t want to admit how fragile I was and then be vulnerable to the possibility of being broken. I didn’t want to admit how ugly I felt inside and then be vulnerable to judgment and shame.

I wanted to watch TV and eat away my longing. Sometimes I still do.

But that’s not the answer. We need a safe haven for our hearts, an environment where we can lift our eyes to see one another, to come out of hiding and gently begin to share the truth of what we think and feel.

But how?

We need tools.

We need opportunities to help us develop those relationships. They rarely come about without being intentional. But intentionality needs a tool to accomplish it's goal.

The UNFROZEN book and video discussion guide are your new tools for intentionally building authentic relationships.

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From the book...

"Watching Frozen reminded me that I wasn’t always so cold and cynical. The movie awakened my childlike aspiration for freedom to express my internal world with passionate creativity. As a young, empathetic girl, I desperately wanted to connect deeply with others and have an extraordinary impact. But it seemed that the only way to secure those things would be to gain and maintain respect from others. I was sure I could accomplish that goal by being the “best me“ I could be.

So I set out to be good, strong and competent. Little did I know, but my determination to earn respect for those qualities became the very thing that drove a wedge between me and the meaningful relationships I so desperately craved.

As the years went by, the ideal self I constructed was mercifully dismantled in phases, and, bit by bit, the realization dawned that in protecting my image, I had paralyzed myself from releasing the beautiful power I had to offer the world.

The day I saw the movie, I was still harboring pain and bitterness. My heart was still frozen. But I felt less alone as I watched Elsa struggle to reconcile the power inside of her with the needs of the people around her. And I began to believe that Elsa wasn’t the only one who needed to “let it go.”

-Andrea Joy Wenburg, Unfrozen

I was cold. It didn’t come out all of the time. Of course, I shared as much warmth as I could with the outside world by engaging with people in heart to heart conversations and mustering up as much kindness as possible. But when I was warm to the outside world, it was like I depleted my resources so when I got home I had very little warmth to give my family.

It made sense, in a way. They asked more from me than anyone else. When I was around them I felt like a failure because they needed things from me I wasn’t sure I could give.

So every request for me to meet their needs felt like a neon sign flashing “FAILURE! FAILURE! FAILURE!” I knew I shouldn’t resent my family for highlighting my weaknesses, but that knowledge only made me feel shame for the fact that I often did.

It was a spiral of self-centered self-hatred and bitterness.

Your heart is worth it.

guarantee

Your frozen heart is worth mining.

The very first image of Disney’s Frozen is the image of huge saws ripping through a thick layer of ice and a chorus of men singing about the dangers of a frozen heart. Then they claim that the frozen heart is worth mining.

Your heart is worth mining. Your heart is invaluable and you have an immeasurable amount of love to offer others. But you have to take the first step. 

You have to decide that your heart is worth mining. 

I long to see your heart thaw so you can give and receive love freely. I long to keep mine soft and open. I long for my daughter to have a foundation for understanding that she doesn’t have to hide in the cold and become paralyzed by the fear that once trapped me.
 

That’s why I wrote Unfrozen: Stop Holding Back and Release the Real You. I wrote it to:

  • bring my own life and heart out into the light to prove to myself that my heart is indestructible.
  • offer my life (our life) as an example of some of the struggles we all face in our relationships so you know you’re not alone.
  • begin a relationship with you, that you might find the space I offer to be a space where you can be free to mine your frozen heart.
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"Frequently Asked Questions"

Does the discussion guide follow the book?
    The guide and the book complement one another but you do not need one to use the other. You can go through the discussion guide with anyone who is familiar with the
movie.
Can I go through the guide with my pre-teen daughter?

Absolutely! I recommend that you view the videos ahead of time to determine if they will make sense to your daughter and if she seems ready for discussion.

What do we do if our group discussion gets to be too heavy?

Reach out to the Facebook group. Do not share private or personal details but I may be able to offer general advice to help you move forward. Second, please encourage group members to reach out to a spiritual guide, counselor or psychologist for additional help.

Can I use this guide with my counseling clients?

Absolutely! I'm hopeful this will be a helpful supplemental resource for counselors, pastors and spiritual directors. I definitely encourage you to watch the videos before sharing them with clients.

Can I use the videos in my youth group?

I highly recommend the discussion guide be used in very small groups of 2-4 people, guided by an adult.

Can I sign up and then lead a little group through the videos?

I encourage all adults who use the videos to sign up individually so you each have access to the private Facebook group. This also allows me to send you additional resources in the future.